miðvikudagur, nóvember 28, 2007

mánudagur, nóvember 26, 2007

book list

to read:

A brief history of time - Stephen Hawking

Discourse on methods and meditations on first philosophy - Descartes

Crime and Punishment - Dostoevsky

The God Who Is There - Francis Shaeffer

Beyond Good and Evil - Friedrich Nietzsche

pretty good list there.. ahhhhhh looking forward to Christmas break

sunnudagur, nóvember 25, 2007

my pet peeve

i have one thing that really bugs me in the world. just one.

i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE it when you ask a question, and the person you're asking looks at you like you are a complete idiot for asking such a stupid question. i HATE it when you are leading into saying something deep and important, and someone laughs at you before you can finish. i HATE it when people judge you before they have even met you.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!

i guess thats three pet peeves, but they all piss me off equally and they are all related.

if i ever do any of these things, please tell me so i can go kill myself.

sunnudagur, nóvember 18, 2007

My band

the%20nonexistant%20love%20lives%20of%20m%20and%20n

the long and winding road

many times i've been alone and many times i've cried
anyway, you'll never know the many ways i've tried
and still they lead me back

you left me standing here a long long time ago
don't leave me waiting here
lead me to your door

miðvikudagur, nóvember 14, 2007

the happy blog

Thought Experiment
Lying in bed one night, I thought, maybe I should just start with myself, lying here, and imagine everything I have and can probably be thankful for. from me outwards. I thought, I'm thankful that I am not in pain, that I am incredibly healthy, that I have a chance to lie here in the quiet, just thinking. Then I thought, I've got a bed with a bouncy mattress, two sets of sheets, a red duvet with matching pillow. I'm warm. I've got my favourite toy, Stanley, and my squishy koala, Big Wolly, and all the happy/eccentric memories that come with them. I've got this warm, fat cat lying on my feet who seems to like me. Then I thought, I've got my own room. A roof, four walls, a glass window with curtains, a door. I'm not wet, and there is no wind. I got to decorate my room, blue and yellow all around. I was allowed to be creative. I've got the chance to make my room incredibly messy, and I get to clean it up, no fuss, when I've got time or when my mum yells at me to do it. I have lavender perfume, eye liner, shadow, facial cream to make me feel more feminine. I am allowed to have an individual style through my clothes, my accessories, my choice of things in my room. I don't have to be a girly girl unless I feel like it. I can close my door, and yell at my wall as much as I want, and no one will yell back at me.
Eventually I fell asleep. And that was just my bedroom.

I wanted to mention that I am going to be polar dipping in Lake Ontario on New Years day for World Vision. I have wanted to do this for YEARS, and finally I've decided to go for it. I would love some support in that you could come and watch me, or wait for the youtube version, or donate, or join me in the lake, or all of these things. Someone pointed out to me that ten friends at 10$ each is 100$. Pretty simple math but it sounded doable, and like quite a lot of cash. :D Further info on this coming soon.

laugardagur, nóvember 03, 2007

.

lots of things running through my mind.
Why am I completely incapable of keeping a steady schedule?
I've given up the chance of directing a Shakespeare. Am I completely insane? I'm the ghost now, in more ways than one.
It is so hard to let go of an idea that has captured my attention for over two years.
How much pain do/will I cause other people?
If I were to look into a mirror every morning and tell myself, "You're beautiful, Madeleine," would I eventually believe myself? How much power do words have on insecurities?
Can I question faith without losing it? Can I allow myself to search?
I think part of humbleness is realizing that you're very imperfect all the time, past, PRESENT, future. I've had a hard time with the present part of that. When I think about sin, I think about specific instances of sin rather than that I am sinning right now in more ways than I will ever know. Scary scary scary thought.
I have never heard my dad say "I love you," or "I'm sorry," and that bugs me a lot. My mum has sort of explained that this is because in England people are really reserved about that kind of thing. I wouldn't know. I've never spent much time in England. I think that I want to go to understand half of me.